SIMPLY
YOU Magazine™
The Magazine
We
are interested in finding out who your best friend is and why that person
is your best friend. Send your story (and a picture of the two of
you if you prefer--pictures will be returned if a SASE is enclosed, but we
are not responsible if they get lost), and we may include your story in an
upcoming issue! Label your submission: BEST FRIENDS.
Also, we are interested in your true-life dramas. If you have
overcome something significant in your life, send the details to us, and
we may print your story! Label your submission: TRUE-LIFE
DRAMAS
Remember, anything you send us (other than submissions to the One-On-One
Personal Advice & Who Do You Love? departments) can be published and
becomes property of SIMPLY YOU Magazine™. By submitting, you agree
to these conditions and waive your rights to the story. If you
prefer that your name not be printed, please specify this on your entry.
Send your stories to:
SIMPLY YOU Magazine™ P.O. Box 284 Phillips, WI
54555-0284
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Fighting Against Teen Suicide--This web site was created by a SIMPLY YOU Magazine web site guest....Someone like you!
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Our Suggested Acne Treatment When you wake up 1. Get into the bathtub or shower stall and splash warm water on your face to open your pores. (If you're a guy, shave before you cleanse. Use a non-comedogenic (non-pore clogging) shaving cream. You may also use a non-drying cleansing bar in place of shaving cream, if you prefer. To reduce shaving irritation, use a smooth razor, such as the Gillette Sensor Excel Razor for Men. Shave one area with downward strokes and continue on to the next area. Change the blade every four to five days.) 2. There are three products that are very effective. Purchase all three and use one of them on Monday, another on Tuesday, and a different one on Wednesday. Then start all over with the products for Thursday through Sunday. In other words, rotate the products. After a while, you will know which product your face is craving.--You'll get a feel for what product is having which affect on your skin. The three recommended products are: * Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash (with salicylic acid) * Johnson & Johnson's Clean & Clear continuous Control Daily Cleanser (with 10% Benzoyl Peroxide acne medication) * Mudd Aromatherapy Self-Heating Skin Cleanser Using your clean fingertips, lather your face with one of these products. Rinse. 3. Before leaving the shower, splash cold water on your face to tighten your pores. For the girls: If you choose to wear make-up, remember that it can clog your pores and lead to more break-outs. In fact, some girls are allergic to some of the components of make-up. If you must wear it, though, choose non-comedogenic (non-pore clogging) make-up. Instead of make-up, a good cover-up for guys or girls, which is also a treatment, is Neutrogena's On-The-Spot Acne Treatment, Tinted Formula. That should be a sufficient morning treatment. Simple; right? If you
have light acne, you're set to go. If you have moderate acne, you may want
to put some Benzoyl Peroxide on your face. Get out your tube of Maximum
Strength Clearasil Vanishing Cream and put the treatment on all the
pimples and on areas normally affected by acne. Use a generous amount and
gently rub it into your face with freshly-cleaned fingertips until the
whitish medication disappears! Wait fifteen minutes. If your face feels
extremely dry, use some lotion. But don't use just ANY lotion. Purpose
Dual Treatment Moisture Lotion or Purpose Alpha Hydroxy Moisture Lotion
are both oil-free and won't clog your pores, plus they prevent sun damage
to your skin with an SPF of 15. Be aware, Purpose Alpha Hydroxy Moisture
Lotion contains glycolic acid, which will help your acne disappear, but
may sting for a few seconds when you first put it on your face. During the day If your face feels overly oily during the day OR if you wear a face mask or sweat a lot during a physical activity, you will want to clean the bacteria off your face. To do so during the day, wet a cotton square with a product such as Noxzema (liquid) astringent or Clearasil to wash away the bacteria.--Gently wipe the product over your face. (If there is a large, dark amount of oil on the cotton square, you may want to repeat this process once more.) A midday cleansing is usually not needed; if it is needed, it is usually only needed once in the middle of the day. If your face gets oily from dripping food on your chin while you eat, remove the oil by blotting the area with a napkin. Try to avoid touching your face. Your hands collect bacteria quickly
throughout the day, which can be transferred to your face through touch.
Avoid activities such as resting your chin or cheek in your hand, laying
your face across your arm, or picking/itching your face. Before you go to bed 1. Splash your face with warm water to open your pores. 2. Wet a cotton square with a product such as Noxzema (liquid) astringent or Clearasil to wash away the bacteria.--Gently wipe the product over your face. (If there is a large, dark amount of oil on the cotton square, you may want to repeat this process once more.) Every other day use this product instead.... Put about a 1/2 teaspoon of Johnson & Johnson's Clean & Clear Oil-Free Daily Pore Cleanser (with "microscrubbers") on a face sponge and gently wash your face. Make sure all the soap is washed away. 4. Splash cold water on your face to close your pores. 5. Pat your face dry. When your face is completely dry, put generous
amounts of Maximum Strength Clearasil Vanishing Cream, (which contains 10%
Benzoyl Peroxide acne medication), on each pimple and on areas usually
affected by acne. Rub the product gently into your skin. *Make sure you have a freshly-laundered pillowcase every night or every
few days. Have a few extra pillowcases on hand if you don't have time to
launder one pillowcase every few days. Pillowcases are inexpensive and a
clean pillowcase will help to ensure that bacteria will not be transferred back to your
clean face during the night. **If you take a shower or bath at night instead of in the morning, feel
free to reverse these recommendations. Use the shower routine in the
shower at night and the nightly routine when you wake up in the morning.
Vary the routines to your needs. However, do not put the lotion on at
night; let the benzoyl peroxide treatment work its magic alone.
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Acne is a bacteria that grows in a plugged follicle. The bacteria is referred to as P. Acnes. It can be irritated by both large amounts of oil on the skin and over-dry skin, so a sharply-defined acne regimen should be followed to eradicate P. Acnes. Here are two options, (one over-the-counter and one prescription-based): An effective acne treatment, which has been in use since the 1930's is an over-the-counter medication known as Benzoyl Peroxide. It kills the acne bacteria better than any other medication on the market and it is inexpensive. Unlike some acne treatments, your facial skin will not grow accustomed to Benzoyl Peroxide, so if you try it and it works for you once, it should always work. When first using Benzoyl Peroxide, you should notice a difference in one to two weeks, at most, if the treatment is working for you. A bit of redness or itchiness may be noticed for the first few beginning days of using Benzoyl Peroxide; your skin should get used to it after a week, at most. However, a bit of caution should be taken before and during the use of Benzoyl Peroxide.--Fewer than 3% of the population is allergic to Benzoyl Peroxide to the extent of it causing swelling and/or crustiness. To avoid this problem, choose a non-noticeable, small portion of your face to test. If you do not have any side effects after a day or two, you probably are not in the 3% minority and you can use Benzoyl Peroxide. Also, Benzoyl Peroxide can bleach fabrics, so keep it away from clothing, carpets, furniture cushions, etc. If some of the medication does get on fabric, wash the fabric immediately to avoid discoloration. On the opposite end of acne medications is Accutane, which is a prescribed, Vitamin A derivative administered in pill form. Usually Accutane is taken for a cycle of four or five consecutive months. One cycle usually produces a noticeable, permanent improvement in the appearance of facial skin. Accutane is successful in 90% of the population. It is an aggressive medication that works from the inside out to shrink oil glands. Doctors often recommend this treatment to people who have severe, scar-causing acne. While Accutane is considered the most important advance in the treatment of acne, there are side effects. Some users of the medication have reported aching bones and stiff joints while on the medication; also, your skin, lips, and eyes may feel dry as a result of Accutane's drying effects. Most importantly, Accutane causes severe birth defects in pregnant women. Accutane should only be taken in severe acne cases under a physician's close care and observation.
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Myths about Acne Some myths about acne are just plain hilarious; others, if true, would be scary. Learn what is fact from bunk so you don't believe the hype: 1. Your diet affects acne. This myth has been studied for years, and time and time again, it has been disproven...thankfully! There is no found correlation between what you eat and what appears on your face. The biggest of these food myths is about chocolate: Chocolate DOES NOT cause acne. Sugar, oil, milk, seafood, and all other foods that you may have heard were acne-causing agents are NOT! If you feel that one of these foods is causing your breakouts and you wish to quit eating it, that is obviously your choice, but the plain truth is that an effective acne treatment is your best, most successful option. No one diet causes or eliminates acne. 2. You have acne because you don't wash your face enough. Not true. P. Acnes is not caused by dirt; it is caused by bacteria and oil. Your face, however, needs a certain balance of oil to support healthy skin. If you wash all the oil away, your skin will react. It will become over-dry and irritated. Irritated skin usually makes acne worse instead of better. 3. The sun will eliminate your acne problem. Wrong! The sun is a temporary fix. A suntan on your face may blend with any discoloration acne has given you, but when the suntan goes away, your skin situation will be just as noticeable and odds are more breakouts will occur. The blending effect does not mean a continuous suntan is the answer. To the contrary.--Sun damages skin, causing wrinkles, cancer, and more acne. If you are in the sun, a non-pore clogging sunscreen should be applied to your face. Coppertone's Oil-Free Sunblock lotion is a good choice. 4. Acne is caused by stress. Not really. In fact, you have probably given yourself more unnecessary stress worrying that stress causes acne! While stress is not a good thing to have for other reasons, it is such a minimal factor in the production of acne. If you are being treated for stress with prescription drugs, acne may be a side effect of those drugs, but stress is not the catalyst for acne.
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What is so bad about squeezing a pimple? And if I have to do it, how can I do it safely? While squeezing a pimple is not a news-worthy way to deal with a pimple, some people insist they will not leave the house with a pimple on their face. If you are one of these people and choose to squeeze it, at least do it as properly as possible. Remember, however, that the best way to get rid of a pimple is through medication and/or time. If you wait it out, you will benefit in the long-term. Squeezing a pimple, "properly" or not, can cause a mark or a scar. It can also cause a scab, the redness will not immediately leave your face, and you could spread the bacteria to other areas of your face or deeper into your skin. If you insist on squeezing it, though, here are a few "proper" techniques you can choose from.... Technique 1 1. Only try this technique if you can see the white pus just below the surface of your skin. If it isn't visible and you squeeze it anyway, you may end up forcing the bacteria further down into your pore which will result in a large, irritated cyst that will stay on your face longer than your average pimple...not a good idea. 2. Wash your hands frequently and thoroughly cleanse the area where the pimple is located. 3. Do not use your fingers. Using your fingers will cause the bacteria to be forced into your pores and cause an infection, which will leave you with a bigger bump, possible scarring, or worse. Instead, use two sterile gauze pads and gently press a gauze pad on each side of the pimple. While applying pressure (DO NOT SQUEEZE) with the gauze pads, (and not with your bare fingers or your nails), the white pus can generally be pressed out easily. Quit applying pressure when the fluid turns clear and certainly stop before or when you see blood. Blood can pool in the top layer of your skin and leave a mark or scar. (If the white pus does not come out with a small bit of pressure, STOP!--Go to Step # 5.) 4. Use another gauze pad to apply hydrogen peroxide and an antibiotic ointment. That's it! 5. If the white pus has not left the pimple, soak a piece of sterile gauze in a mixture of 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 cup warm water. Hold the gauze over the affected area for approximately five to ten minutes, repeating several times a day. The salt may dry out the pimple and draw the pus closer to the surface. Then, repeat the above steps. Technique 2 1. Only try this technique if you can see the white pus just below the surface of your skin. Also, wash your hands frequently throughout this process. 2. Wash your face with a gentle cleanser, removing all make-up and bacteria. 3. Soften your face with a warm shower; bath; or with a warm, damp washcloth. 4. Sterilize a fine needle, either by passing the end through a flame or by sterilizing it with rubbing alcohol. (A non-sterilized needle will cause an infection and either a larger pimple or more pimples.) 5. Gently prick the tip of the pimple's surfaced, white pus with the sterilized needle. Do not over-prick or over-squeeze, because you may stretch the pore and push white blood cells onto the skin, which can lead to infection and scarring. 6. Using a clean piece of gauze, hold it over the pricked pimple, applying gentle pressure to the sides of the pimple to extract the pus. (If the white pus does not come out with minimal pressure, STOP!--See Technique 1, Step 5.) Quit applying pressure when the fluid turns clear and certainly stop before or when you see blood. Blood can pool in the top layer of your skin and leave a mark or scar. 7. Use another gauze pad to apply hydrogen peroxide and an antibiotic ointment. *Above all, if you don't see a white head (pus), DO NOT TRY TO POP THE PIMPLE! Wash the affected area and put Benzoyl Peroxide on it. In a few days the pimple will be yesterday's news...history, without a scar as a nasty reminder.
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| ***This
article is not to be construed as medical advice. Seek the help of a
professional for concrete answers and solutions.
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Saturated & Satiated: Are You Eating Too Much Fat?
In our fast-paced world, every second is precious. Find a way to maximize the free time in your schedule, and you have hit the jackpot! Many Americans have found a way to cut out the wasted minutes when it is time to eat. There was a time when making a home-cooked meal was valued. Later, the invention of a microwave seemed so fast. Now, home-cooking is too laborious and microwaves seem too slow.
Therefore, many Americans frequent fast food restaurants. And like the true American you are, imagine the times you have decided to grab a quick bite to eat from the drive-thru and be on your way. But as you are driving there, you get stuck in traffic. And once you are at the restaurant, there is a long line of cars in front of you. Finally, it’s your turn to order. “I’ll have a hamburger, fries, and cola. Oh, please super-size my order.”
“Super-sizing! What a wonderful service,” you think to yourself. Who wouldn’t want to get more for their money?
As you approach the drive-thru pick-up window,
your cell phone rings. It’s
your sister, and she is ecstatic about a man she just met at the gym.
As she is chattering away about how wonderful he is and what they
all have in common, your mind begins to drift.
Suddenly you say aloud, “I think I should start going to the
gym.”
“Excellent!
You could meet a wonderful guy, too!” She exclaims.
Yes,
that would be a benefit, but you have been meaning to take off a few
pounds. What better way than
to work out with your sister? She
is excited about this idea, and she asks if you’d like to get started on
an exercise program tomorrow.
“No,”
you tell her, as you poke another super-sized fry into your mouth.
“My schedule is all booked tomorrow, but I’ll get back to you
as soon as I’m free.”
Does this sound familiar? It happens to all of us. We are too busy with the hustle and bustle of our every day lives, plus the care taking of others, that we forget to take care of ourselves. But the facts of life show that eating healthy and exercising are both beneficial to our overall health and well-being.
A
taco salad in a shell and with salsa contains 840 calories, of which over
half are from fat! Eating
such a high number of calories if, for example, you need to take in 1750
calories, means that you have already taken in almost half of your daily
calories in one meal! Assuming
you eat three meals a day, and have a snack or two, those next meals
better be planned rather carefully or you will be exceeding your
recommended daily intake of calories.
Find out the facts, reasons, and key areas to focus on to become a healthier person. This entire article can be found in SYM On-line!
Remember: This information is not intended as a substitute for medical treatment. Whenever you have questions about your health, consult a physician.
Prior
"Question of the Month" Results
What are your plans for Prom or your best Prom stories?
"I never went to the Prom when I was younger other than to watch the King & Queen get crowned. I am not sure why I never went. Perhaps I thought it was silly to spend so much on a dress, and I certainly didn't like any implied expectations for Prom night. I guess I just thought Prom was a cheesy, over-priced event for high-schoolers. Regardless, I did have Prom when I was in college. It happened when my best guy friend took me to a Christmas party for his workplace. It was held in the Crystal Ballroom of a fancy hotel. (Yes, it was actually named the Crystal Ballroom!) He was so attentive to me that night, I felt like Cinderella! It was one of the best nights of my life and my "Prom"...the only Prom I needed! I will never forget that night."
"My friends and I are going to go in a group to Prom. No need for us to pair up; going in a group will be much more fun. A great way to end our high school years! We're going to have a lot of safe fun that night, and I am sure we will never forget our last Prom together."
"I'm not going to Prom."
"Hopefully my boyfriend and I will be crowned King & Queen of our Junior Prom this year!! I am going to wear a pale yellow dress. It is hard to explain but it is very beautiful, and I am sure no one else will have a dress quite like it!"
Do you believe people can be changed for the better? Or for the worse? Why do you feel this way?
"People can be changed for the better if they themselves want to change!"
"Yes, you can do anything
you want if you really try, but you cannot make a person do something.
Sometimes people need to see the good side of life to see what it's
about....The best I can do is be a good role model."
--Brittney Cleary, rising
Pop Star
What do you think about the separation of church and state, and the lack of a religious-presence in our schools?
"I live in Wisconsin. I don't know if everyone is now doing this or if it is just our state, but we now say the Pledge of Allegiance at school. I think it brings everyone together. A lot of the younger kids didn't even know the words. I might not have known them had my mom not taught me; she said they used to always say it in school. I just hope it doesn't get to be too much that it is no longer as significant as it should be. But I don't think that saying "God" in the Pledge should be a problem; if you don't want to say it, don't. We are overwhelmingly Christian in America; we should stand proud in our beliefs."
"Religion should be left in the private schools. Not all of us believe the same things."
"We had a debate about this at college just recently in the wake of the 9-11 tragedy in America. I guess since there is a separation of church & state in the constitution, it should stay that way. It was put there for a reason, which is to respect individual beliefs and not to force anyone's beliefs on anyone else. However, what I think is missing is a sense of nationalism and a sense of respect for others. That is what should be taught in schools. Church can be on Sundays as it always has been, and whatever parents feel is appropriate can be taught in the home. That makes sense to me."
If you could live at any point in history, what year would you choose? Why?
"The 1970's because it was all about Disco, afros, and bellbottoms!!!!"
"Probably the
early days of country, like when Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn were around,
because then I could see how country really was and I could be apart of
it."
--Nicki Cleary, upcoming pop star
"The 70's, because I love Led Zeppelin!!!"
"I would choose 2000. Because I can fly wherever I want. I can vote, I can have any job I am qualified for. I can wear pants. I don't have to worry about war?!"
"I would go
back to the days when my grandparents were younger so that I could get to
meet them and understand the tough times they experienced."
--Alyssa
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.
A simple friend brings a nice gift to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Insightful Quotes
"Acceptance
of what happened is the first step to overcoming the consequence of any misfortune."
--William James
"Things
turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn
out."
--Anonymous
"Doubt
indulged soon becomes doubt realized."
--Francis R. Havergal
"Everybody
knows that if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful
that you are sure to stumble over something."
--Gertrude Stein
"Don't let
other people tell you what you want."
--Pat Riley
"We
are what we believe we are."
--Benjamin N. Cardozo
"Thunder is
good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the
work."
--Mark Twain
"It
is never right to compromise with dishonesty."
--Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.
"We shall never have friends if we expect to
find them without fault."
--Thomas Fuller
"I am responsible for my own well-being, my own happiness. The choices
and decisions I make regarding my life directly
influences the quality of my days."
--Kathleen Andrus
"No one is more likely to make a mistake
than the man who acts only on reflection."
--Luc de Clapiers, Marquis Vauvenargues
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push.
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
Some people make the world special just by being in it.
Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.
Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.
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Understanding the opposite sex. Flirting: How to Read His & Her Signals Top 5 things men (naturally) do when they flirt:
Top 5 things women (naturally) do when they flirt:
For eternity. "I have been best friends with Tamera since she and her parents moved next door to me when we were both four years old. We once had a silly kid fight, and I decided to run over to her house afterward and apologize. We vowed to never fight again. We have kept that promise for the past twenty years and will continue to do so. We have been there for each other through everything from dating, puberty, and school work to marrying, having babies, and jobs. She is special to me on a different level than my husband is. She is my sister-like soul mate who really understands me. We should have been twins, but it is probably best we weren't, because siblings sometimes fight, but we never do. I am blessed to have her." --Meeka, 24, Wyoming How color affects your mood. Your mood is greatly influenced by many factors, one of which is color. Whether it is the colors that you see when you wake up in the morning, the ones that surround you during your daily routine, or the colors you choose to wear, they have a profound affect on your mood. The colors you choose to be surrounded by can also have an effect on others and how they perceive you. The following nine colors, and how they are perceived by yourself and others, may help to evaluate and change your mood. Black is a disciplined color that shows power and authority. It is a color that can stand alone and make a profound statement. Showing strength and promoting independence, it is a very secure color portraying security and longevity. Having a purifying influence, white if often thought to be an angelic color. In combination with other colors, it brings a sense of life and vitality. Large amounts of energy are produced due to this color. Often, it possesses an ability to unify people in differing situations. Yellow is cheerful like the sunshine. It also increases energy levels. The brighter the shade of yellow, the more optimistic thoughts become. It is an expansive color that promotes happiness. Yellow is often used in offices to promote creative, optimistic patterns of thinking. Pink soothes oneself. Promoting affection, pink has the ability to stimulate conversation as it allows others to feel a need to comply with one another and come to a successful resolution. Drawing out one's intuition, purple holds a sense of spirituality for many. While it possesses a large amount of mystery, this color also has the power to comfort. Blue is a relaxing, refreshing, and cooling color. Peaceful moods filled with tranquil feelings are often a result of this color. Therefore, blue is commonly used to decorate bathrooms and bedrooms. Some feel that blue is the color of sleep, and being surrounded by this color helps to put them at ease and fall asleep more easily. Green encourages emotional growth by balancing, normalizing, and refreshing one's spirit. Being the color of money, it can also create a feeling of wealth and security. As a natural, earthy color, it may produce a feeling of hunger, which is why it is often used as an accent color in kitchens and restaurants. Empowering and enlivening, red symbolizes passion. It stimulates emotions and dramatizes situations. Competition if often found where red is. Red is definitely an attention-getter. Orange cheers, promoting conversation and charity. It also stimulates appetites, which is why it is commonly used as an accent color in kitchens and at restaurants. It is also known as a very commanding color. What Does Your Voice Say About You? Odds are, your identity is important to you. Wanting to influence the way others perceive you, you may spend hours fixing your hair, applying make-up, choosing the perfect outfit, or an array of other activities. However, working on your exterior is not enough. Your interior is part of the package as well; it comes through to those around you. One of your interior attributes happens to be your voice and how you use its many inflections. When you project different inflections in your voice, you are exhibiting different emotions, such as happiness, anger, jealousy, confusion, contentedness, etc. Sometimes your vocal variations may be planned or happen unconsciously, but regardless of that fact, how you say something has a lot to say about you. Articulation Has anyone ever told you to enunciate better? If they have, they were referring to your articulation. If you tend to slur words and thoughts together, you may be viewed as having vague ideas or an uninterested or intolerant attitude to the one you are conversing with. So that others realize you care about their thoughts and opinions, and that you have a clear mind, practice speaking more clearly. If you don't know how to say a word accurately, look it up in the dictionary, and discover how to pronounce it properly. Usually clear speech gets much more attention, because others view you as being more serious and able to put together clear thoughts. Volume The loudness or softness of your voice can make you appear confident or timid. When giving a speech to a large audience, you will have to up your decibel level so even those in the back of the room will be able to hear you. If you are in a one-on-one or small group conversation, your voice should not be quite as loud. You do not want to appear like you are hollering or scolding those you are talking to, but you do want to appear confident in what you have to say. A soft-spoken voice often leads others to believe you are shy, often vulnerable, and perhaps unknowledgeable about your topic of discussion, whether that is true or not. Resonance Having a rich voice means you have a lot of resonance. If you lack this quality, your voice may come off as nasal and whiny. Others often view this type of voice as someone who is a complainer or that does not have direction in life. Inflection If you don't have inflection in your voice, you do not have vocal variation. Your voice sounds monotone, which is comparable to listening to a boring professor give a speech. Usually downward inflection allows others to perceive that you are making a serious statement, but too much downward inflection can lead to a boring monotone conversation. Obviously you don't want to bore the person you are talking to, so spice up your speech with a little inflection. Generally, your voice will have an upward inflection at the end of a sentence that is posed as a question. In this case, upward inflection is good; it shows curiosity. But if you use upward inflection with all your thoughts, soon you will sound as if you do not hold much certainty in your own statements. You will constantly appear to be asking for approval, even if that is not how you mean to sound, so be cautious at what points in your speech you make your voice go upward or downward. Pitch Pitch is the hardest aspect of voice to control, but it can be done. Usually, anyone of us can cover between one and two octaves, but we often do not use the length of this variation capability. However, if you have a very shrill, high voice, you may want to consider practicing to tone it down a little. Often high voices are hard on our ears due to their design. High voices often reflect someone who is very tense, nervous, and dramatic. If you prefer to sound more soothing and mature, a lower voice is the direction you should be headed. Voice Improvement Techniques If you no longer want the tone of voice you were born with, it's time for a change. Improving your posture will allow your voice to project farther and more clearly in a more resonantly-pleasing way. If you relax, you will not sound as nervous and tense. Relaxing will also allow you to slow down your pattern of speech. Slowing down allows your speech to sound more clear. Pausing allows you to be able to collect your thoughts, as well, and therefore you will sound more knowledgeable. Finally, breathing can be a determining factor in how your voice sounds. If you breathe and you can feel your chest moving as you inhale and exhale, you are breathing thoracically. If you are breathing from your stomach region, you are breathing diaphragmatically. Changing your breathing pattern can change your tone of voice, so try both methods. Your tone of voice certainly affects how others view you. It also affects how you view yourself. If you are pleased with your voice, then you will have a higher confidence level. That's why it is an important skill to polish up. If you are unable to change your voice, however, don't sweat it! Make it work for you. After all, you are a unique and special individual, and your different style of speaking makes you more interesting as a person. It is important to try to improve yourself, but never get upset about who you are, as long as you are not hurting anyone else and especially if you cannot change it. |
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The Question: My girlfriend recently cheated on me with another guy in my grade. She told me about it when she dumped me. For some reason, I feel like it is all my fault. What is wrong with me? What did I do wrong? I really cared about her.
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The Question: I have a problem. I'm in the 8th grade and I've never ever been on a date, which means I have never had a boyfriend. The problem is that when I am asked out I don't know how to tell my parents.
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